[I had finished this mix months ago back in either August or September... I really don't remember. I also had been working on the blogpost below for months to accompany it. This post has probably been six to nine months in the making. The playlist could be better, since it's more down in nature than how I would have it now. If I was making it today, there might be more cynicism and rage... or not. Anyways, enjoy the post that took months to make.]
For the longest time last summer, way before I could preoccupy myself with the concert season, I wasn't able to write the way I wanted to write. I had been in and out of ruts for a couple of months. I wanted to blame it on the lack of oxygen in my office, but there was definitely more to it than that.
Like most causes for my down-in-a-hole, stuck-in-a-rut feelings, it's mostly always about a girl. Sure, she wasn't the sole reason why I had been down, but she sure was a significant part of it. Since I don't see myself adding her on Facebook, I can just say her name is Adriana (... and to my high school friends: No. Not THAT Adriana... though I know you're on my Facebook, Adriana, so if you're reading this, hey, what's up? Call me some time and we'll hang out.)
I was attracted to her the minute I saw her. Unfortunately, we worked at the same place and even though we were in different departments, she was still a student assistant. I know there's been a long history of staffers dating assistants, and probably will continue to happen in the future, and yeah, I did it before and it was great... but I was younger then and at my age now, I just feel weird about doing that again.
A year passes, and thanks to super-duper micromanagement, our departments are now one mega-super-duper department. So I got to know her a little bit more and I really, REALLY liked what she was all about. She was getting her BS (or is it BA? I don't know) in Engineering (I forget the specific field... civil?) and she would be graduating soon since it was the last weeks of the spring semester. I really didn't want to lose my chance. I got more courageous and tried to talk to her more, going on breaks together, talking about random stuff. I knew I had to ask her out on a date before that window of opportunity closed... so I did... and she said yes.
And I was fucking happy as fuck.
But with me, there's bound to be something. You better not call it self-fulfilling prophecy because I was really happy and surprisingly not as pessimistic... well for a couple of weeks that is. So I would call her... and then leave a message. Not wanting to be too desperate, I would call days later out of not getting a response. She didn't answer and so I left a message... again. Thinking about today's generation (and a little at myself) and thinking how people prefer texting over talking on the phone, I texted her... and got a response maybe a day or two later.
To make a long story short... too late... (bonus points for you if you get that reference,) we set up a date to go watch Prometheus. To show you how much I really wanted to go on a date with her, I lied about not seeing Prometheus when she said she wanted to see it. On the day of the movie date, I put on the hottest outfit I had (with advice from my co-workers), I got to the theater early so I can buy a ticket for her and myself, and waited around Japantown until I met up with her in front of the theater.
You can probably all ready guess what had happened next, assuming what the name of the mix is. She got out of a parked car and said, "I brought my friend... I hope that's okay." Seriously, what was I going to say right there and then with her friend there. Was I going to say, "Uh, no. This is a date... you don't bring a friend on a date," while she was all ready there? I was fucking demoralized. I wish I knew how to rebound and just let my charm take over and win them both over, but I couldn't get over the surprise attack. So yeah, I said yes, in fear of looking rude, even though she was rude for not saying anything about bringing whatshername (seriously, I totally forgot her name because it wasn't important, but it definitely sounded like something a white trash white girl would be named) prior to her coming and letting me know in advance.
If only we were watching this movie...
Actually scratch that.
So her friend bought her ticket (because there was no way in Hell I was going to pay for her, too) and we went into the theater. I tried to make it work... I really did... because I kept on giving Adriana the benefit of a doubt. I thought maybe she was too nervous to be with me alone so she brought her friend to get her to be social... and of course I thought she probably just brought her along as a buffer. The more pessimistic thought was probably the case because during the movie, they were constantly chatting and she only talked to me once or twice.
Now a sane person would have the common sense to fucking end it there and go home after the movie, but not me. Don't worry... my friends grilled me later, saying, "Run, bitch, RUN!" But no... when it came to Adriana, I was stupid as shit and went with them to dinner. It was a crowded place, which didn't make things better, but it was a Japanese ramen place so I was in a better mood. They constantly talked about their own shit, talking about bars and drinking and stuff white chicks in their early 20s talk about. I tried to chime in every now and again but at this point, I was mentally kicking myself for coming along. I still tried to remain optimistic and chatted, just in case.
Afterwards, we said our goodbyes and I went home confused, depressed, angered, and finally ending up on confused again over the situation. I told my friends... half were being optimistic, saying she probably did that just to get a friend's opinion on me... and half were like "Ohmigod, I can't believe you gave that bitch the benefit of a doubt. You should have ran when you had the chance." And with the mixed messages of my friends, I was still confused. Seeing as how she was really cute, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to contact her again afterwards, because you know, I'm dumb. This time, though, I asked her on a date... saying I didn't want to have to do it through text but that I still wanted to go out with her, using 'date' to be very specific and no doubts about it. After her not responding for days, I finally get this message, coming in two parts:
"Hey sorry dude I've been going through a lot later [[[lately???]]]. I'm in la right now because my uncle died and I'm not sure when I'm coming back. I'll hit you up when /// I do though"So the /// separates two text messages and so I read it as such, with emphasis on the second message... "I do though." Realistically I'm sure it was one text and it was suppose to have been read "I'll hit you up when I do though" as in "I'll contact you when I get into town." And not that she really REALLY wanted to go on a date with me.
But regardless, I texted back, giving my condolences, and saying whenever she comes back and still wants to hang out, she can give me a call. Nothing. I didn't want to text back, because I wanted to give her space with whatever emotions and family drama she was dealing with. And if she was still in LA, then it would have been pointless to contact her.
To finish this long story, I never heard from her again. There were some sightings of her hanging out in the City from a co-worker, so obviously she didn't stay down there. Frankly, I wasn't surprised. I let her cute face and nerdy qualities... and those bodacious curves... distract me and I realized she was a total flake... and from the conversation she was having with her friend, she was also a wild party girl and a drunk. But to be fair, she probably didn't want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her... and I probably caught her at a really odd point in her life, what with graduation, trying to find a real job, and a death in the family hitting her all in a span of a month... and that shit happens.
After that, I gave up on dating. After a weird encounter on a dating site (which I may or may not bring up in a later post... depending on how masochistic I feel that day), I completely closed the account, swore never to go after anyone, and just didn't look back.
And it's kinda funny that six months later from the movie date from hell, I'd go on another movie date that would lead to me being happy with another person, who actually wants to talk to me and doesn't wait a week to get back to me. It's nice to finally date someone who actually likes me back and someone I can actually relate to... and someone who's surprised that I would have no luck with the ladies for so long. Looking back on the more interesting failed dates in my dating life makes me appreciate and feel lucky that I'm dating the person I'm dating now.
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