Shit My (Filipino-American, San Francisco Born) Dad Says...

(The words I remember my dad telling me over the years... Father Chaos?... Daddy Chaos?... Papa Chaos... do not necessarily reflect the views of me, Chris Chaos... well, not all of it.)

On Safety:
"Always be aware. You never know when a car will hit you when riding your bike or when someone feels like stabbing you for your wallet."

(This is probably why I'm so paranoid.)

On the Niners Every Time They Win:
"We're going to the Super Bowl this year. GO NINERS!"

On The Saints:
"The Aint's."

On The Cowboys:
"Cowgirls."

On The Rams:
"The Lambs."

On The Raiders:
Something really bad about Oakland and how nothing good can come from Oakland... obviously he hasn't been to The Fox Theater.

On Basketball:
"Do you like basketball? It looks all sweaty and smelly."

On Religion:
"...opiate for the masses."
And this video that  he sent me...

(As for me, I know there are progressive Christians who believe in social justice, who understand that we shouldn't go word for word to what the Bible says and don't like those who pick and choose what they draw from the book to spout out hate speak, and who use Christianity as more of a philosophy not written in stone and as a means for peace and equality... you know, what Jesus wanted. Even though my dad is more atheist and I'm more agnostic, I try not to bash on Christians as a whole because all Christians are not Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell and every other bigot who use the Bible to hate on homosexuals and womens' rights and anything else that question their authority.)

On Manny Pacquiao:
"I don't like him. He's not my cousin anymore. He got all religious after he got caught cheating. He should have owned up to it... admit to love being a womanizer."

After Watching the Trailer for "The Man with the Iron Fists":

"I don't know why white boys get all durrrrh over Chinese girls. It's Lucy Liu. She's nothing special... unattractive."
(I could probably say the same about Jamie Chung, but since I was there when several friends got all duuuuuuuuuuuurh for her whenever she walked by in high school, I can probably say she's several steps above Lucy Liu.)

More About White Boys and Their Thing For Asian Girls:
"I asked this white woman at work why she thinks white boys love Asian girls, and she told me it was because they've been rejected by white women."
(I tend to think it's because of the Geisha Girl/passive stereotype, but then again, this woman sounds really conceited.)

On Who's More Attractive Than Lucy Liu:
"Latina girls. They should be going all durrrrrh over them."

On My Aunt/His Sister:

(This one's my fault. I told him how much Kim Jong Il looked like Aunt Nene... and he just ran with it... for years afterwards.)

On Turning 60:
"I don't feel 60. ... I look younger than most people in their 40s... and in better shape than kids in their 20s."

I remember growing up after years of my dad giving me shit while living at home, I vowed never to be like my dad. After hitting 30, though, I realized how much I've picked up from him. His temper, his candidness on talking about things that piss him off in GREAT detail, his vulgar sense of humor, his love for San Francisco sports, his lack of patience in dealing with groups of people, his love for his family (even though most of it is tough love), his ninja-like reflexes, his dashing ability to look awesome in a beard, and his vision... no, literally... I'm blind as a bat because of him.

Awww fuck... Thor help us all.

Happy birthday, Dad.