Ashes to Ashes: What To Do With My Dead Corpse

While talking with co-workers, someone brought up the topic of death and what to with our bodies after they passed away. Someone said the person they knew who was on the verge of death was going to be buried, and another co-worker said they just wanted to be cremated and brought up a service that scatters ashes below the Golden Gate Bridge.

I told them that I want to be cremated... I don't want to waste money on a wooden box/bed that I won't really get to enjoy. However, instead of being scattered in JUST the San Francisco Bay, I want half my ashes scattered in Amsterdam. I know I lived in San Jose longer, but Amsterdam is more of a second home to me than San Jose. I just felt more at ease in Amsterdam than when I was in San Jose. It was a lot more laid back than in San Francisco... unless you started biking too slow on the main streets. It wasn't the prostitutes nor the weed that won me over... the canals, the attitude, the awesome apple tart, the school and the awesome friends I made there... those won me over.

Now, I'm not requesting my ashes being divided into two places because of some spiritual stuff like my "essence" being in two places at once. I don't even think it'll matter much after I'm dead, since... you know... I'll be dead. However, this gives my friends and family (or whoever decides to take on the task of taking my ashy remains to Holland) the opportunity to visit the City that I love as much as San Francisco... if not, sometimes more so.

Now over time, I'm sure my conditions will change. I'm sure I'll add a city here and there, like Paris or whatever city that wins me over later in life, but I'm sure Amsterdam and San Francisco will still be a part of those cities' waters my ashes will pollute be scattered in.

Scattering my ashes, though, isn't EXACTLY my first option. If I had $2300-25000 to completely waste and not care about losing, I would totally turn my ashes into a FUCKING DIAMOND! I know there's several companies out there that do this type of thing, and I think it would be totally creepy and cool at the same time. My diamond could be passed down from generation to generation. The ONLY reason why I would ever want to do this is so that whoever possesses the ash gem could summon me a la Final Fantasy 6's Esper summons. Anyone trying to mess with my family could summon me from the diamond and my ghost can appear out of nowhere, scare the shit out of their tormentors, and I can throw a fucking fireball in their fucking face!

Yeah, that could totally happen.

I'm only kinda kidding about that ash diamond, by the way. Kinda. I'm a dork, I know.