Some of my friends think that out of all the genres of people out there, I hate hipsters the most. That is FAR from the truth. True, I may diss hipsters for looking too much like a douchebag, but for the most part, their music ain't that bad. No, it's not hipsters... and much to my surprise, it's not Republicans. I know, I'm surprised, too.
No, my Enemy Number One are old people. When you live in a building full of them, especially those old Chinese bitches that close the door right in front of you and they see you trying to open the door, because they turn back twice but they just rush to the elevator before you can get there. Fucking bitches... where was I going with this?
Oh yeah, old people.
And nothing gets under my skin more than old yuppies... old "hippies"-turned-yuppies... and this commercial is a shining example. What do you call old yuppies, anyway? I mean, technically speaking, it's an oxymoron. The whole "young urban professional" phrase was for the college-to-Wall-Street douchebags of the 1980's right? Or did it start in the 1970's?
It doesn't fucking matter. What I'm trying to get at is that they try to portray these people as ex-hippies when it's pretty obvious these people were never real hippies.
Look how well groomed these men are... if they were real hippies, wouldn't they be wearing hemp, have a huge ungroomed beard, and be making organically scented candles in their house while growing marijuana in the backyard?
The surfer guys... fine... old people can still hang ten... great for them. Afterwards they can drive off in their Mercedez and fuck their trophy wife.
The guy jumping to make a basket in B-Ball without breaking a hip... fine. There's a lot of in-shape fifty year olds... my dad is one of them. And after all, we only saw that one shot. Afterwards, he probably called timeout to put on some Preperation H.
But the 'guitar player' guy from 0:12 to 0:16? What the fuck is that? This guy is the epitomy of uncoolness. What's up with that synchronized guitar pose with the... black bassist? Hmmm... I'll refrain.
You can tell he's not playing the guitar... and he doesn't even know how... who the fuck does that, really? And that suit? I'm no expert on fashion, but if this commercial is trying to portray an aura of coolness that goes along with getting old and gray hair and shit, then the guy playing the guitar should be the coolest one... not the dorkiest one. Seriously, only the Hives can pull off the suit while on stage... maybe some others... but not this douchenozzle (whoever came up with douchenozzle should be proud of themselves.)
I mean shit... HE ISN'T EVEN FUCKING PLAYING THE GUITAR! There's a LOT of 50 year olds who can shred and look cool. My guitar teacher could have been in that role... but I guess he's not white-looking enough... I digress.
And that plastered-on smile? Everyone knows people who play guitar have a face as they're playing... either that 'I'm so into this music, I'm in heaven' look, or 'I'm making love to you and my penis is my music' look... seriously, look at John Mayer. It looks like he's about to squirt as he's playing.
Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, old people.
Now I know this is just a commercial and I shouldn't get worked up about it, but I read into this shit because commercials give us a look into the consumerism of our society and let us know what "Fifth Avenue" wants us to look, think, etc. "Buy this product and you won't feel insecure about growing old anymore, you aging yuppies. You can be cool again, just like how you wanted to be in the late 60s when you pretended to be at Woodstock by listening to some bootlegged Hendrix live albums. But it really wasn't Hendrix because your mom didn't approve so you had to rock out to Pat Boone... but man, you showed her when you moved to college, didn't you? You bought that leather jacket, bought a motorcycle, listened to some Steppenwolf and you proved you were cool. Now BUY THIS PRODUCT!"
And the line at the end... "Don't trust anyone over 90?" Cute. It should be "Don't trust anyone over 70" and we can include John McCain in there, but I digress. (He definitely had his funny moments at that Alfred E. Smith Memorial charity dinner.)
But in all seriousness, I have a lot of co-workers who are over 50... they're cool... and they don't need to buy Just for Men's Touch of Grey to be cool because they don't need to pretend... that and they're all either bald or receeding... so I guess they wouldn't be able to buy it if they wanted to. Hmmm...
My dad is cool, and he doesn't bother with that grey shit. No, he just uses the Just for Men stuff to darken the greys in his goatee. Yeah, that doesn't prove my point either. Hmm...
The moral of the story is: men who need Touch of Grey are kidding themselves if they think it will make them cool. And if you see a man wearing a suit as he's playing guitar and it's not The Hives or a punk band being all ironic, then you should probably leave the band because the music probably won't be that rocking.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
What I Thought of Religulous (And Nick and Norah)
Usually, the common rule at the dinner table is that you can talk about anything but two usually-heated topics: politics and religion. Well last weekend, I got just that, with a little side order of music, one-night adventures, and teens talking about sex like they're in their twenties. You can't lose with that, right?
Two movies in one weekend is like a first in months for me... usually because I rarely see anything on opening day. Funny enough, both of these were during its opening weekends... so I broke my own rule twice.
WARNING: I may have spoilers creeping out here and there for both movies, so if you haven't seen it and do not want to get spoiled in any shape, stop reading. Now that I warned you, on with the post.
I had planned to see Religulous for a week with my atheist friend who's interested in talking about this particular topic. And for me being an agnostic who doesn't like organized religion, it was easy for me to digest Bill Maher's abrasive thoughts on religion, and enjoy the taste. (I can't deny that I like his show, whenever I get a chance to watch it since I don't get HBO.) We brought along three friends: one was Catholic, one was Baptist (who I thought was Catholic because I assume all Latinas are Catholic), and one was Hindu.
We saw it at the Stonestown Theater, which only has two theaters and the screen is relatively small. The seats were oddly placed, like all the ones on the left aisle were slanted in a way where you had to either have your neck slanted throughout or move your body slanting against the seat in order to watch it. But being one of those movies that attracts the 'small theater going' crowd, and since it was in limited theaters, it was the best option.
Now, throughout the movie, Bill goes to all the hot spots of Judeo-Christian culture (Israel, USA's bible belt, Florida) and elsewhere, asking people of their own respective faith why they believe, playing "Devil's Advocate" (heh, heh... sorry) by questioning their belief and their logic and thinking, and making jokes out of it all. After all, he IS a comedian. (Insinuating that Jesus was some awkward teenager with a Jew-fro, with a clip from Superbad with Jonah Hill, was fucking hysterical.)
For someone who lives in a 'bubble,' away from the rest of the States, most of the people in the documentary come off as either creepy, stubborn, or someone who's been drinking the FOX News and Pat Robertson Koolaid. And since I don't subscribe to that, their creepy stubbornness was intensified. Some did come off as rational and even willing to admit that the Bible is just one big story and that all of it is a huge load... and it comes from the Vatican priests themselves. Those guys were definitely fun to watch. These guys were well past middle aged, and I think they came to a point where the story is hard to believe as 100% truth. And it's here where it looks like Maher and these people are having an intellectual discourse about the topic and having a good laugh about it.
He doesn't just focus on Christianity as they does hit the rest of the trifecta: Judaism and Islam. Before I saw the movie, I read that Maher was more abrasive and did more questioning with the Muslim faith, since those that he interviewed said that Islam was about peace, understanding and acceptance, when the images that we see nowadays is anything but. Plus, I got to see bits and pieces of Amsterdam (which always makes me feel at ease) due to the conflict between the Dutch because of the killing of Theo van Gogh in 2004... an event that actually happened while I was studying abroad so it definitely brought back a lot of memories. They even threw in the Danes as well for the 'caricature' of Mohammed ordeal.
I think one thing that got to him was the telling of the End of Days, and how it's been prophesized for thousands of years, and how the people in charge actually believe this to be true (fuckin' W and if we're all unlucky, Palin.) In the beginning he said something that I won't forget... he said he hates these prophecies, especially self-fulfilling prophecies. And with these nuts near the 'red button,' who actually believe the Rapture will happen and take them all away to Heaven, or if they sacrifice themselves, they'll be greeted by virgins in Heaven. Truthfully, I would not want 70+ virgins all for me... virgins are horribly overrated. I like my ladies with a little bit of experience... just as long as they never mention their past lovers.
Anyways, back to the movie, I'm not a professional movie critic. I didn't take movie review classes in college. I'm just a guy with an opinion. And with that being said, I liked the movie. I thought it was funny and the topic, while controversial, was never boring. The things that I find flawed were that (a) Bill Maher has his opinions on people with a religious faith, in that they all have neurological disorders, and that definitely comes off abrasive and closed-minded to the possibility of a rational human being who just happens to be religious; and (b) I thought it would never end. Of course, I'm not really use to documentaries and am used to movies with plots and general progression of whatever plot the movie has. But in that respect, I only felt that way once while watching it.
I do have to say that it does create conversation amongst people who have watched it, and depending on how they take the movie, you can have an intellectual discourse, a rant-infested argument, or someone who doesn't want to talk about. In our group, we got option A and C. Our Hindu friend didn't particularly like the movie because she doesn't like her faith questioned and if she knew what the movie was about (my friend who was in charge of inviting her forgot to mention that) and she left early because she didn't really want to talk about. It was really weird because out of all the people who we thought would be offended, we didn't think it was going to be her since Bill Maher never really touched upon anything outside the Judeo-Christian-Muslim realm other than comparing Jesus's story to that of other religions and how very similar they are (born on the 25th of December, virgin birth, crucified, healing the wounded and advocating for the poor, crucifixion, etc. were all taken from other 'pagan' religions at that time.) And I do believe some story from the Hindu mythology was mentioned to touch upon the Christian mythology. Other than that, it was all about the three religions mentioned before.
So, if you're not horribly offended by the topic of religion, whether you believe in anything or not, and you want a conversation starter with your friends waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant after you get out of the movie theater, I definitely recommend it. It's opinioniated, yes, but it's definitely an interesting take on religion, and if you live in a bubble like me and have never really been influenced by religion, the movie is definitely an eye opener.
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NOTE: I also saw Nick and Norah that weekend, too. I was going to do a post on it as well, but time wasn't on my side. All I have to say is that I thought it was cute... there were parts I liked, parts I didn't, parts I thought could have been cut, and things that could have been elaborated on more. Overall, I thought it was good. Not the best movie of the year, but I'd watch it again... and I'd watch any movie revolved around music... well, most movies. You won't see me at the movie theater if Jessica Simpson was starring in some shitty movie where she's trying to be a pop star, fails, and tries to get into country, only to fail there, too... oh wait, that's reality.
Two movies in one weekend is like a first in months for me... usually because I rarely see anything on opening day. Funny enough, both of these were during its opening weekends... so I broke my own rule twice.
WARNING: I may have spoilers creeping out here and there for both movies, so if you haven't seen it and do not want to get spoiled in any shape, stop reading. Now that I warned you, on with the post.
I had planned to see Religulous for a week with my atheist friend who's interested in talking about this particular topic. And for me being an agnostic who doesn't like organized religion, it was easy for me to digest Bill Maher's abrasive thoughts on religion, and enjoy the taste. (I can't deny that I like his show, whenever I get a chance to watch it since I don't get HBO.) We brought along three friends: one was Catholic, one was Baptist (who I thought was Catholic because I assume all Latinas are Catholic), and one was Hindu.
We saw it at the Stonestown Theater, which only has two theaters and the screen is relatively small. The seats were oddly placed, like all the ones on the left aisle were slanted in a way where you had to either have your neck slanted throughout or move your body slanting against the seat in order to watch it. But being one of those movies that attracts the 'small theater going' crowd, and since it was in limited theaters, it was the best option.
Now, throughout the movie, Bill goes to all the hot spots of Judeo-Christian culture (Israel, USA's bible belt, Florida) and elsewhere, asking people of their own respective faith why they believe, playing "Devil's Advocate" (heh, heh... sorry) by questioning their belief and their logic and thinking, and making jokes out of it all. After all, he IS a comedian. (Insinuating that Jesus was some awkward teenager with a Jew-fro, with a clip from Superbad with Jonah Hill, was fucking hysterical.)
For someone who lives in a 'bubble,' away from the rest of the States, most of the people in the documentary come off as either creepy, stubborn, or someone who's been drinking the FOX News and Pat Robertson Koolaid. And since I don't subscribe to that, their creepy stubbornness was intensified. Some did come off as rational and even willing to admit that the Bible is just one big story and that all of it is a huge load... and it comes from the Vatican priests themselves. Those guys were definitely fun to watch. These guys were well past middle aged, and I think they came to a point where the story is hard to believe as 100% truth. And it's here where it looks like Maher and these people are having an intellectual discourse about the topic and having a good laugh about it.
He doesn't just focus on Christianity as they does hit the rest of the trifecta: Judaism and Islam. Before I saw the movie, I read that Maher was more abrasive and did more questioning with the Muslim faith, since those that he interviewed said that Islam was about peace, understanding and acceptance, when the images that we see nowadays is anything but. Plus, I got to see bits and pieces of Amsterdam (which always makes me feel at ease) due to the conflict between the Dutch because of the killing of Theo van Gogh in 2004... an event that actually happened while I was studying abroad so it definitely brought back a lot of memories. They even threw in the Danes as well for the 'caricature' of Mohammed ordeal.
I think one thing that got to him was the telling of the End of Days, and how it's been prophesized for thousands of years, and how the people in charge actually believe this to be true (fuckin' W and if we're all unlucky, Palin.) In the beginning he said something that I won't forget... he said he hates these prophecies, especially self-fulfilling prophecies. And with these nuts near the 'red button,' who actually believe the Rapture will happen and take them all away to Heaven, or if they sacrifice themselves, they'll be greeted by virgins in Heaven. Truthfully, I would not want 70+ virgins all for me... virgins are horribly overrated. I like my ladies with a little bit of experience... just as long as they never mention their past lovers.
Anyways, back to the movie, I'm not a professional movie critic. I didn't take movie review classes in college. I'm just a guy with an opinion. And with that being said, I liked the movie. I thought it was funny and the topic, while controversial, was never boring. The things that I find flawed were that (a) Bill Maher has his opinions on people with a religious faith, in that they all have neurological disorders, and that definitely comes off abrasive and closed-minded to the possibility of a rational human being who just happens to be religious; and (b) I thought it would never end. Of course, I'm not really use to documentaries and am used to movies with plots and general progression of whatever plot the movie has. But in that respect, I only felt that way once while watching it.
I do have to say that it does create conversation amongst people who have watched it, and depending on how they take the movie, you can have an intellectual discourse, a rant-infested argument, or someone who doesn't want to talk about. In our group, we got option A and C. Our Hindu friend didn't particularly like the movie because she doesn't like her faith questioned and if she knew what the movie was about (my friend who was in charge of inviting her forgot to mention that) and she left early because she didn't really want to talk about. It was really weird because out of all the people who we thought would be offended, we didn't think it was going to be her since Bill Maher never really touched upon anything outside the Judeo-Christian-Muslim realm other than comparing Jesus's story to that of other religions and how very similar they are (born on the 25th of December, virgin birth, crucified, healing the wounded and advocating for the poor, crucifixion, etc. were all taken from other 'pagan' religions at that time.) And I do believe some story from the Hindu mythology was mentioned to touch upon the Christian mythology. Other than that, it was all about the three religions mentioned before.
So, if you're not horribly offended by the topic of religion, whether you believe in anything or not, and you want a conversation starter with your friends waiting for a table at a crowded restaurant after you get out of the movie theater, I definitely recommend it. It's opinioniated, yes, but it's definitely an interesting take on religion, and if you live in a bubble like me and have never really been influenced by religion, the movie is definitely an eye opener.
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NOTE: I also saw Nick and Norah that weekend, too. I was going to do a post on it as well, but time wasn't on my side. All I have to say is that I thought it was cute... there were parts I liked, parts I didn't, parts I thought could have been cut, and things that could have been elaborated on more. Overall, I thought it was good. Not the best movie of the year, but I'd watch it again... and I'd watch any movie revolved around music... well, most movies. You won't see me at the movie theater if Jessica Simpson was starring in some shitty movie where she's trying to be a pop star, fails, and tries to get into country, only to fail there, too... oh wait, that's reality.
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